How a Child Learns: The Quiet Influence of Our Words and Actions

I came across a poem tucked away in my notes—one I hadn’t read in years. But as I re-read it, I was reminded just how profound and true it is. This simple yet powerful piece reflects how a child's environment becomes their inner voice, and how we, knowingly or unknowingly, shape their worldview.

We are always teaching—especially when we don’t mean to.
Our tone, our habits, our words, even our silence—they all become part of what a child believes about the world and about themselves.

Here is the poem titled "How a Child Learns" by an unknown author:

How a Child Learns

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
she learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame,
she learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement,
she learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise,
he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness,
she learns justice.

If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval,
she learns to like herself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
he learns to find love in the world.

Each line is a mirror—a reminder of what we are reflecting back to the children in our homes, classrooms, and communities.

Final Reflection

We don’t need a formal curriculum to teach a child.
We teach with our actions, with how we handle conflict, with how we respond to failure, with how we love.

May we be intentional.
May we offer the kind of environment that cultivates compassion, courage, and character.

Because what we do is what they learn.