Is Headship About Hierarchy or Holiness? Rethinking Power and Role in the Church
Headship is one of the most loaded words in church conversations around leadership and gender. For some, it means authority and hierarchy. For others, it’s a relic of patriarchal control. But what if we’ve misunderstood what Paul meant all along?
In Ephesians 5, Paul describes the husband as the “head” of the wife, as Messiah is the head of the Church. The image is not of dominance, but of sacrificial love.
Ephesians 5:23,25 (TLV): "For the husband is head of the wife, as Messiah also is head of His community—Himself the Savior of the body. Husbands, love your wives just as Messiah also loved His community and gave Himself up for her."
The Greek word kephalē has been debated endlessly—does it mean source or leader? Maybe the more important question is: what kind of head is Jesus?
Jesus’ headship meant laying down His life. It meant bearing a cross, not wielding control. It meant leading through sacrifice, not dominance. That’s the kind of headship Paul exhorts husbands to reflect—and, more broadly, the kind of leadership we’re all invited into.
From a Kingdom perspective, holiness—not hierarchy—is the call. Leadership is not a privilege to grasp, but a grace to steward.
When we fixate on who gets to lead, we risk missing how God defines leadership altogether. Jesus washed feet. He lifted the lowly. He rebuked the proud.
If our models of headship don’t look like Jesus’ humility, we’ve missed the point. And if women and men are both called to become more like Christ, then headship is not a gender issue—it’s a holiness issue.
Headship in Different Relationships
In Relationship with God: Headship begins not with what we do, but with who God is. As we grow in intimacy with Him, our identity matures—from creation to child, and from child to son or daughter. This transition is not just emotional or relational; it's spiritual.
John 1:12 (TLV): "But whoever did receive Him, those trusting in His name, to these He gave the right to become children of God."
Romans 8:14–17 (TLV): "For all who are led by the Ruach Elohim, these are sons of God... and if children, also heirs."
In this process, authority no longer feels imposed from above—it begins to dwell within. God entrusts His authority not to control us, but to empower us. We move from passive obedience to active participation. From servants to sons. From followers to co-laborers.
As sons and daughters, we’re called to reflect His nature—not just obey His commands. And that kind of headship—the kind that mirrors the heart of the Father—transforms how we lead others.
Headship takes on different forms depending on the context, but the heart of it—sacrificial, others-focused love—should remain consistent. Here's how biblical headship might look in everyday relationships:
1. In Marriage: Headship is not domination but devotion. It reflects agape—unconditional, covenantal love. It means out-serving one another, just as Messiah gave Himself for the Church.
2. In the Workplace: Headship looks like ethical leadership, integrity, and putting others’ growth ahead of personal gain. It aligns with philia—loyal, brotherly love that builds trust and mutual respect.
3. In the Family: Headship means nurturing, guiding, and protecting—not because of entitlement, but out of stewardship. It echoes storge—natural affection and care that arises from family bonds.
4. In Friendship: Headship isn't about position, but presence. It means being the first to apologize, to forgive, and to honor. It reflects philia, again—a love that values companionship over competition.
5. In the Body of Christ: Headship manifests as mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21), where all believers elevate one another in love. It ultimately reflects agape, the divine love that anchors every act of leadership in Christ’s example.
Hierarchy vs. Holiness
Hierarchy often centers on power, rank, and control. It asks, Who is in charge? Who’s more important? But this is the language of empire, not of the Kingdom. In a hierarchy, your place is your value. In the Kingdom, your posture is your power.
Hierarchy feeds the ego. Headship shaped by holiness crucifies it.
In Scripture, headship is never about self-exaltation—it’s about self-emptying. Jesus’ example redefines headship as servanthood:
“Whoever wants to be first shall be slave of all.” (Mark 10:44 TLV)
“The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life.” (Matthew 20:28 TLV)
Let’s stop protecting our power and start reflecting His posture. Let’s lead like Jesus—who leads by love, through loss, and into life.